Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
