i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
