They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
