It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
