I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
