nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Lo siento on account of my penis...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize