Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
