She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
