Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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