Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She bit a glass in half.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
