question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize