I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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