3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
