Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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