We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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