so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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