Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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