we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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