The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
