There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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