i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
