She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
