her vagine was all disorganized.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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