My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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