I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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