i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
where are my eyebrows?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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