Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize