Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
