I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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