i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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