do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
