That's when you crack a 10am beer
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
