So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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