Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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