Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize