Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Two words: nipple clamps
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