He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
