i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
