im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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