member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
