Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
