do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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