The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
only you would photoshop your dick
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
