Who did Billy Mays play for?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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