Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
