Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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