I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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