It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
bring money and cleavage
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
