I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
