walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
