He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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