You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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