Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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