Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
