The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
