its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
