Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
