it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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