Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
