i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
it was like having sex with a tree stump
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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