5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
