A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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