Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
