Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
