If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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