Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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