just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
