OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Of course I have a pirate flag
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
