i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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