wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
